This post is by Kylie Ridler-Dutton, Marketing Management Consultant at TrinityP3. Kylie is a discipline neutral specialist with consulting and implementation experience spanning across retail, alcohol, utilities and telecommunications.
Achieve success with your agency through everyday relationship psychology
Like a pre-arranged marriage you go in blind and hope for the best. However, in this day and age we have the power to go into a relationship with the expectation that our needs will be met.
Laying out the ground rules through communication at the very beginning establishes clear expectations so it doesn’t turn sour. What works for you may not work for the next person. We are very complex creatures and with the plethora of partners we can choose, both business and personal, it feels easier to just start again.
The smallest changes in our communication can make a healthy lasting relationship
Set expectations at the very beginning:
1. Take the time to sit down and plan before you launch into every day life. Like personal relationships both parties want to feel their needs are being met and that they are understood.
2. Set time in your diaries to catch up on a regular basis and review your agreed requirements. Agree on areas for improvement and how this can be achieved to avoid disappointment.
3. Assess what you want to spend time together discussing or even not discussing, so the time spent together is productive and positive.
4. What makes you tick? Do you prefer a phone call to a million emails? Are you are a morning person, a coffee catch up before you hit the desk job?
5. Plan, plan, plan – Share how your day pans out, what meetings do you attend and when do you need some extra support or pro-active input. The more both parties are prepared the better the results.
6. Plan, Plan and Plan again – both parties will have goals to be met and daily tasks they need to achieve so if one party throws a curve ball the other is going to face conflict with achieving their goal which leads to frustration.
7. Allow for growth, trust takes time and often we are thrown together like a pre-arranged marriage. Most of us have a different work style, the planner or the person who gets a thrill from last minute cramming – recognise the work style of your partner/s and try to compromise on how to get the best results.
Getting to know you
In any relationship, there are different dynamics. The biggest passion killer is when we deliberately hit on a known weakness. Nothing is gained by inflicting pain, as the law of physics shows us it only makes us weaker. Humans gather strength and success from – support, knowledge and encouragement.
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill
Don’t waste time and energy holding that grudge or making the other party guess what is wrong, it only creates distraction from the real goals ahead. A healthy relationship requires you to sometimes step outside of your comfort zone and communicate with courage.
Do’s and Don’ts for clear Communication
1. Listen – don’t jump to the defensive and take on a parenting role of finger pointing, it creates unbalance which leads to feelings of resentment
2. I’m right and you are wrong – Entering into a discussion with the goal of you are right and the other party is wrong only creates conflict not resolution
3. Mind reading – don’t enter a discussion assuming the other party knows your angle
4. Resolution – don’t focus on the problem, try to share how to next succeed
5. Actions – Finish the discussion with agreed actions on how to avoid the same conflicts
Communication, Collaboration, Bravery, Desire to succeed
As humans we naturally gravitate towards our own needs and assume everyone is the same. In personality testing understand how we all think and take action in different ways.
To be successful in relationships it helps to recognise the differences in how people approach a situation. We all look for the same results however, trying to manipulate the way others approach a task can cause frustration and failure as it goes against the natural psychology of the brain. The end goal is to all get to the same outcome and how that is approached may differ.
The best way to burn out a relationship is to never celebrate the milestones or show gratitude so try to say thank you. It doesn’t cost anything and the ripple effect it can have is priceless.
So what makes a successful relationship? That’s up to you, there is no cookie cutter solution or existing template however we all have access to the tools – the power of communication.